so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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