yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
