I wannas sexs uuuuu
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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