...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
