As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
