I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
ugly people sure do ruin things
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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