Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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