so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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