So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
