I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
