What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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