No stitches, just platelets and will power
how do flat chested girls get laid?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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