Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
