I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
