Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
