I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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