Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Randomize
