your parents love me but you hate me
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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