So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
