I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
