It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
