Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
