They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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