You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
