Me. At least after what I've been through.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
