you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
