They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
