Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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