What did we do last night that was yellow?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
