I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
