What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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