I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
