We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
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