apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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