He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize
