Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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