just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The beer is more important than you right now.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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