FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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