Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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