THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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