She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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