Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
