I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
