smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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