If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
