Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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