My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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