so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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