He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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