ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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