I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
