i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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