I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
