I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
