apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
