so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
