She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
