can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
